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  • Clarissa Martinez

Battling Loneliness




Despite the fact that our generation is more connected than ever before, we are ALSO the most disconnected and loneliest generation. Everything I will say about loneliness and how to battle it is from my own experience. This is a huge part of my testimony and now that I realize how many people struggle with feeling alone, I now know that my story needs to be shared. In regards to my story, my struggle with loneliness began once I moved to Austin for school. I was single, away from my family & friends and in a new city for the first time. As hard and dark as that season was for me, every time I look back at that time of my life I'm full of gratitude. God used my situation to mold me, refine me and build me into the person I am today. As a matter of fact, if it wasn't for loneliness, I wouldn't have this blog. He placed purpose in my heart and pushed me to start The Life of Clarissa during that season.


In Psalm 142:1-7, David expresses an emotion I think we can all relate to. He felt alone and was convinced no one cared for him. As strong and convincing as the feeling of loneliness can be, we are never truly alone. Just as God was with David and loved him deeply, He is with you and loves you just as much.

God tells us to be still and KNOW (Psalm 46:10). Not be still and feel.

Even though we may not always feel Him, it does not mean He isn't there and isn't working. As I was writing that sentence, the song Way Maker came to mind. There's a line in that song that says, "Even when I don't see it you're working, even when I don't feel it, you're working". That line gets me EVERY TIME because it has reigned so true in my life. There have been many moments where I don't feel God at all or feel as if He is NOT at work in any part of my life, but when that moment is over I realize that He was working that entire time, I just needed to be still. Just simply know, He is God. He is good. He will never fail or forsake you. He is always working things out on your behalf. Loneliness can tell us it's just us against the world because it doesn't "feel" like God is there, but God is more than just a feeling.



Loneliness can....

  • create insecurities

  • force you to lower your standards

  • push you to seek your validation in others

  • cause you run to temporary satisfaction instead of God

  • make you lose sight of your self-worth

  • steer you off your path, if you allow it


Where are you looking to fill the void?


My battle with loneliness was not a pretty one. I did lean on God a lot during that struggle, at first there were other things I was leaning on as well. I kept on seeking things of the world to give me temporary satisfaction or help me run away from my problems. Also, during this time, my self-worth diminished and I was constantly seeking validation from others. In reality, I was looking at others to fill the void inside of me that God could only fill. I wanted to feel loved and seen. Once I decided to seek Him over everything else, He began to mold and flourish me. He helped me realize my true worth, because it is found in him.


Loneliness lead to many different things for me. It was soul crushing, but God used this time to refine me. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the “dark room” reference, but I heard it in a sermon once and it is the perfect comparison to the struggles we experience throughout our lives. When you develop a film picture, after it is taken you have to place it in a dark room for it to fully develop. The harder seasons in our life help us develop in the same way. Certain situations have to happen in order for us to be transformed, or fully developed. If nothing I’ve said up to this point helps, I want you to get this. During this time was just pray and ask God what He needed me to learn during this time and how He wanted me to grow. As hard as the situation was, I knew God would use this situation for good.


When Loneliness Hits

1) Listen to sermons and podcasts that talk about loneliness (A few of my favorites are The Porch Podcast on Battling Loneliness and Single, Not Alone: Relationship Goals at Transformation Church)

2) Lean into God as much as you can. Put on worship music, read your bible and just talk to Him.

3) As contradicting as it may seem, go do things by yourself. It can be uncomfortable at first but once you adjust, it's seriously the best thing ever.

4) Reach out to a friend, community is SO important. You can even reach out to me!

5) Journaling. Write it out!

6) Doing more things that were great for my body always left me feeling better . Like going for walks, yoga or the gym.



I pray that my story and experience through loneliness will help you if you are experiencing a similar season. Loneliness can be very dangerous if it is not dealt with in the right way. God desires to help you and strengthen His relationship with you, but you need to seek Him. Step into His presence daily and lean on Him during this time. He can and will bring you through it.




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© 2018 THELIFEOFCLARISSA.