How To Own Your Confidence!
Updated: Apr 28, 2020
Ahhhh, self confidence. I could be wrong, but I think this is one of the top 3 struggles of everyone in our world today. With society constantly telling us what we "should" and "should not" look like or what we "should" be achieving, it is easy to be convinced that you are failing in some area of your life.
I was on the phone with a friend of mine the other day and she asked me something that kind of shocked me. She asked me, "How are you so confident?"... woah. The reason I was shocked by this question was because I hadn't realized that my confidence in who I am was so grounded to the point that it was evident to others. While my lack of self confidence was something I remember bringing to God years ago, it was sadly also something I forgot God delivered me from. It wasn't my main focus anymore, so I lost sight of that victory for a moment. While there's grace in that, I am so grateful it was brought to my attention by my friend because now I can share that victory with all of you.
While insecurities can still pop up from time to time, the counterargument to those insecure thoughts (which are lies, btw) is what makes the difference. In this blog post, I'll explain the BEST ways to conquer your battle with self-confidence with God's truth.
Don't workout/diet because you hate your body, but do it because you LOVE your body. Love and accept your body through it's changes.
Personally, this mindset was a game-changer for me. Since high school, when I really started my fitness journey and started going to the gym consistently, my mindset was to workout and eat good so I can "look better, so I can finally be happy when I look in the mirror". I don't think I'm alone in that mindset either, but it is dangerous and unhealthy mindset to have. This is also a problem I ran into again during this stay at home period. I realized how much weight I had gained since last year and it made me upset. I found myself wanting to do all these intense workouts because I didn't like the way I looked and comparing myself to people who had hourglass abs. Spoiler alert: all that did was make me feel worse about myself.
Working out solely to "look better" won't actually motivate you to workout. I'm more motivated to do workouts on the days I decide to do a type of workout I WANT to do, not one that will make me "skinnier". Now I'm not saying that you shouldn't work out at all and that you shouldn't challenge yourself. What I am saying is take the pressure off of yourself for a bit. Have healthy goals but don't be upset with yourself if they take longer than expected. Continue to be active but in a way that you actually enjoy it. Don't do super intense workouts every day and only eat salads so you can be "summer ready". Go for a walk, ride your bike, do yoga! You can be active and healthy while not running your body into the ground.
What Am I?
Let's not forget where our identity comes from! Do not look for validation from instagram likes or people of this world. That was something I was guilty of doing and have to catch myself when I find myself doing it today. I had to remind myself where TRUE validation comes from. All that really matters is what God thinks of us and who He says we are. After all, we are His creation, and God doesn't make mistakes. You are handcrafted by the same person who created sunsets, sunshine, flowers, and all the stars in the sky. How cool is that?
The Bible is FULL of who God says we are. Your thoughts can convince you that you are something you are not. In Steven Furtick's book, Crash the Chatterbox, he talks about overpowering the lies of insecurity with who God says we are.
Whenever you feel insecure thoughts coming in and telling you what you are not, declare these truths that God says you ARE:
I am His masterpiece
I am His workmanship
I am established
I am sealed with His promise
I am redeemed
How To Fight Back Even When You Don't Feel Like It:
"I don't seem to be gaining much ground in this battle, but I am more than a conquerer."
"I don't like myself much in this moment, but I am loved."
"I don't have a lot of confidence in myself right now, but I am strong and courageous."
Most Importantly, Let God In:
Talk to God about what you're feeling and the thoughts you are believing about yourself. Allow Him to fight the battle of your thoughts with you and remind you what is true. I am constantly filling my mind with thing that are uplifting. Whether it's a sermon, worship music or a podcast. Also, if you follow someone on Instagram that you catch yourself comparing yourself to, UNFOLLOW THEM. Not because it's their fault, but because you need to protect your thoughts and your heart.
Other tips/ resources:
Keep reminders around your room of who God says you are. I have Psalm 139:14 framed right by my mirror so every time I am getting ready I am reminded that I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Declare Self-Affirmations over yourself every morning. By doing this at the start of your day, you can have those truths at the forefront of your mind. I have a blog post covering that topic here.
Keep someone (or multiple people) around you who you can be vulnerable with and who speak life over you. Tell them the insecurities you deal with and walk through your thoughts with them. This person needs to uplift you and remind you how God sees you.
Stop comparing yourself to others! I know it's easier said than done, that's why I have an entire blog post dedicated to it. You can read that here.
Read Crash the Chatterbox by Steven Furtick! This book covers all of the lies your mind will tell you, including insecurity, and how you can replace them with God's voice!
Listen to You Say by Lauren Daigle